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and so it begins... (devlog 0)

Programming · Jan 6th, 2022

The last gamejam I participated in broke me fundamentally. It was back in 2020, and ever since I've been contemplating over my failure and rethinking the whole gamedev thing. It seems most people in these gamedev communities preach that you absolutely HAVE TO make many small projects before you can even think of tackling your dream project, but I start to dislike this notion. Making small games was never fun and I learned nothing from it. To make it even worse, the games were absolute garbage, which were only played in these gamejams and then never again. In my opinion, these games were a waste of time and resources.

The best learning experiences I've had were always by tackling difficult problems and reading up on topics that are way above my league. If it isn't challenging, I am not learning. Last year I've programmed my personal website https://www.rismosch.com/ with nothing but NotePad++ and a few browsers. And let me tell you, in this project I've learned more than the entirety of my college years and my current job combined. All my current knowledge came from the work I have done myself. And the best thing that came out of writing my website is, that now I have something that actually has a use for me. And as such, this website is very valuable to me, unlike the garbage I submitted in past gamejams.

Now this year, I want to start to make a game. Not just a small game, but something with a campaign that is worth experiencing. Something that others want to play, heck I want to play, and to sink countless hours of playtime into. I want to be proud of whatever comes out of this. Also, I will be writing my own game engine. I know most of you don't care, but for the 3 of you who do, here you go.

I have accumulated what they call "book knowledge". I've watched uncountable YouTube videos, and I've read multiple books on the C++ programming language. And while this makes me feel like an expert, I still have to prove that I can apply this knowledge. Though this time, I am completely aware that I can, and probably will, fall face first onto the ground. But maybe for the first time in life I feel so confident, that I think that this won't stop me. If I fall, I will learn something. I will stand up and continue, even though I am 100% sure that this project will consume many following years.

I am not making this post to find empathy. Nor for guidance. I simply made it to document my naivety at the beginning, and for you to roast me, if you like to do that. So have a good one! 👍

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